Hallway

I am not
in control,
yet I move
through it all,
hurtling myself
forward
in blind
ambition 
and knowledge,
not knowing
where this 
is leading me,
or where
I want it
to end.


I feel nothing, 
yet
I am aware 
ot it all,
overloaded 
into 
mobile
paralysis,
numb to experience,
as if
I was 
dreaming it all
from a distance.
And here
I am again, 
falling again,
because
it feels more
familiar
than stopping
to make sesne 
of it all.


I 
can only
look behind me
as they all
fade away
and 
make sense
of it all
as I pass through
this hallway,
alone
in a different 
time
and 
place,
the ghosts
of myself
that others know,
or think 
they all,
and the other
that I am
slowly 
becoming.
Lost
in a 
state
of emotions
I am
not prepared
to accept,
yet still
embrace
its swarm
of emotions,
knowing
that the unknown
is more frightening,
staying in the 
exhausted now
than 
what 
comes 
next.

-Daniel Coston
June 2015